Tag Archives: LSD

Trip Report #8 – Marijuana

Substance: 2.5 – 3 puffs of Marijuana smoke from a small pink bong

When: End of Sept, 2015

Time: Evening

Participants: my gf Miss. Pouncy, myself

Location: Miss. Pouncy’s Bedroom

I have never been high on weed before in my life. Which may seem strange given all the other psychotropic drugs I have tried. I have had 1-2x tokes of a joint before earlier, but to no effect. I had been curious about weed, but never really drawn to it. Having witnessed many of my friends and acquaintances using it before, they seemed to just use it to check out…..I wasn’t interested in dissociation. I had thought of taking it to relax and soothe some of the anxiety I felt but didn’t want to get hooked.

Miss. Pouncy had used the stuff liberally in the last couple of years. She however used it as a spiritual tool to go deep into her emotions and explore other dimensions of energy. Never before had I met someone who used weed like someone might use mushrooms.

I was a bit nervous to be sure, things with Miss. Pouncy were already pretty psychedelic without the use of drugs. She eventually wanted to use it as a tantric aid to increase sensuality during sex so I was sold. I had heard about this before from David Jay Brown and was curious.

Needless to say my experience with weed was unlike anything I Imagined it would be. The effects happened within one minute of inhalation. I first realized I had an almost super sense of the sensations in my body, much like mushrooms. Time also slowed downed dramatically and it felt super psychedelic…without fractals and visuals however. Miss. Pouncy got giddy watching me observing the effects taking place in my body. I however didn’t share in the amusement. I didn’t particularly enjoy the new sensations and what I would call my loneliness anxiety began to take hold.

Marijuana for me was extremely close in nature to my LSD experience. In many ways the trip was almost synonymous in its overall feel.

I sat on the bed as Miss. Pouncy asked me how I was feeling. At first I denied the anxiety, but she persisted and once I confessed she put her hand firmly on my heart and stared into my eyes for about the next hour or so, as I dived gently into the anxiety.

The thing the was causing me the most anxiety was the feeling of being merged with my entire environment. There was again as in my previous trips this overwhelming feeling that I am God and I am creating my entire reality. There was no real distinction between myself and my surroundings. I felt subsumed by it, lost and lonely in my own creation. I lost my center and my identity to a large degree. It was quite frightening to my ego.

The only thing that didn’t fit however the merging experience was Miss. Pouncy. Her hand on my chest and her eyes staring deep into my soul brought some measure of relief. I didn’t feel like I was creating her, she definitely played a part in creating herself. She also seemed quite alien, quite other than, different than me, mysterious and that helped reinforce the sense of separation and thus my identity. I felt safer. Without her direct presence the trip may have gone into extreme loneliness like virtually every one of my other trips had.

It now felt like her and I were two powerful Gods and she that had somehow found me in the abyss. In fact it felt like her feminine energy was pulling me out of the masculine abyss of chaos. It felt like she was gently pulling on my energy field, pulling on strands and strings and helping me coalesce into a higher dimension of being. I felt like I was in hell and she was in heaven pulling me out. I got a distinct imaginary visual of this, as if she were reaching across a vast multidimensional chasm.

chasm

Her face seemed so very familiar. It aroused memories and I felt like I had seen her before perhaps on all my other trips and she had pulled me out. I had merely forgotten. I feel like I had known that face for thousands if not millions of years before.

This dynamic then took on proportions of a divine nature. The attractive forces between the divine feminine and the divine masculine. Miss. Pouncy has this incredibly powerful feminine quality about her that has a really soothing and nurturing effect. I had experienced this viscerally once (not on drugs) before on her massage table as she did witchy-poo energy work on me. Watching her walk around the table her visage changed she seemed like a female druid and I was a male druid and we had done this before many thousands of years ago. It felt like she was with great reverence fine-tuning my energy field. I could feel her pulling on it like a cosmic web.

That same feeling was evoked on the trip except now it took on cosmic proportions. The depth of her being seemed to reach so far back and inwards I could not locate it’s source. This mesmerized me. It felt like infinite adventure, mystery and discovery awaited me in the depths of her being. This was comforting and again affirmed my individuality. There was such love and compassion in her eyes I could scarcely take it in or absorb it.

There is a passage in the book Kundalini – Evolution and Enlightenment edited by John White (pg.27) from the first chapter by Swami Rama that perfectly describes the greater spiritual aspects of my experience. In fact it felt like this was the purpose of our relationship and that it had been so for millenia.

“According to this ancient philosophy, the entire universe is a manifestation of pure consciousness. In manifesting the uni- verse, this pure consciousness seems to become divided into two poles or aspects, neither of which can exist without the other. One aspect retains a static quality and remains identified with unmanifest consciousness. In tantra this quality is called Shiva, and is conceptualized as masculine. Shiva is depicted as being absorbed in the deepest state of meditation, a state of formless being, consciousness, and bliss. He remains for the most part aloof from and uninterested in manifesting the universe. Shiva has the power to be, but not the power to become or change. He has no power to act or to manifest. He is the power holder, but has no energy in his own right. Nevertheless, consciousness as the power that builds the world is based on and arises out of this consciousness as being.

The other part of this polarity is a dynamic, energetic, or creative aspect that is called Shakti, the great mother of the universe, for it is from her that all form is born. Shakti is the subtlest of created things. She manifests herself as the entire universe including matter, life, and mind.

These two principles are united, but in the manifest world an illusion of separation is created between pure consciousness and its manifestations. Shakti is a projection of consciousness that veils the consciousness from which she was projected, in the innumerable illusory manifestations (maya) that she brings fond and that we call the universe. The scriptures say that when karma ripens, Shakti becomes desirous of creation, and covers herself with her own maya.

The creation of this illusion is called involution, for we find consciousness involving or folding over itself. As a result of this involvement it seems to become complex, bipolar, and formed. After aeons of time, when the universe is dissolved, it is drawn or recollected into that Shakti that produced it. This latter process is known as evolution. It is a further stage of development in which consciousness becomes uninvolved with its manifestation.”

My reality had this extreme presence to it. I felt like I had entered the eternal moment of now. Aspects of my ego resisted this quite strongly. There was a safety in being “lost” in thoughts in the past or most often in my case the future. No matter what I thought it was talking place in the eternal moment of now. Even writing this now fills me with a certain sense of anxiety about the nature of fundamental reality.

I didn’t feel ready to accept the burden of responsibility of creating my environment in such a complete and total way. Again my ego was scandalized at the it’s own power and godhood. I wanted to run away from the trip back to the comforts of illusory reality. My ego takes great comfort in the illusions, as it gives me a strong sense of self.

On the other hand I knew I must take marijuana again, except a much smaller dose. It was important that I gain mastery of this new found environment and power. I realized it would take me some time, but eventually I would exist in that timeless space all the time once I had evolved sufficiently.

I got this great feeling of conspiracy. That forces inside and perhaps outside and in the world had conspired to subversively bring marijuana into my awareness. Every pot head friend I had, every time I saw weed mentioned in the media, it was all put there deliberately to entice my curiosity for the drug. I didn’t like this realization it seemed like a paranoid conspiracy aimed at the liberation of my consciousness from illusion, like some great secret that had been in front of my nose for so long.

It didn’t make sense to my rational mind, were all these millions of people who used weed somehow these super advanced souls that had secretly accessed this godlike state of being? Did this mean that being godly would be like being high all the time, like some of my friends were? Then why were many of their lives such a mess? It didn’t make sense. I knew somehow that my experience with weed must be unique, it just didn’t feel like it for some tricky reason.

Psychedelic trip report #4 – LSD

Substance: LSD 2-hits of a weak batch, plus 1-2g of Extacy/MDMA – 2 hours in known as a “Candy Flip”

When: January 21st, 2012,

Time: started around 2:00pm – lasted until about 8pm

Participants: my gf, myself

Location: My place

My trip started off with lots of fun. The fractals were very small. All cuboid. The MDMA seemed to have no effect at all, didn’t make me happier, in fact it made me feel slightly more depressed if anything. I am now doubting that what my drug dealer sold me was anything but MDMA, probably was soap.

LSD had a more mechanical feel to it, most of the time it felt like I wasn’t really experiencing much of anything. I had to focus, on music, and focus in my mind in weird ways in order to conjure up stuff. And even then it was very fleeting. If I centered my emotions it started feeling very blank, empty, zen peaceful like….but that was kind of boring.

Towards the end of the trip I had tons of inspiration and felt like I was understanding how the universe operated and was constructed on a fundamental level. I saw how fractals formed strings, the strings then formed objects. The fractals also formed grid like tapestries that then produced form and curvature. The music brought all this into resonance, emotion brought it together, thought created and segmented it apart.

I wrote the following in Inspiration after the trip:

We are masters of the Universe
We are masters of the universe that have created form, from a change in perspective.
We are the universe trying to figure itself out.
We are the universe creating itself through a process of unfoldment.

Everything is unfolding, the directions of unflodment are creative, they meander in curves trying to break their linearity. The world of form gives us that.

The universe is wonderful for we created ourselves into existence. The purpose of fractal unfoldment on a large scale is to slow the whole thing down, to establish vibration, resonance, centeredness. Actual flexible linearity.

The universe created us so we could figure it out. It wants to understand what it is, it has a natural curiosity.

It needs to relax, center, be with itself, love itself.
Sex is the way that the universe makes love with another part of itself.
The world of form is the true wonder of the process of unfoldment.

The world of humans in some ways, the realm of thought tries to break free of its fractal nature. To create a whole new kind of wonderment.

The geometry of the universe, the golden ratio, the fractal reality, we owe it our homage.

500px-Fibonacci_spiral_34.svg_

Dielectricity is the contraction of folding in the squeezing, to create form. The densificaiton which gives rise to curves. This gives rise to changes in perspective.

Dielectricity and magnetism balance each other out to form the yin and the yang. This establishes and maintains equilibrium. One way is eternal expansion, the other way is eternal contraction. The two forces balance each other out. Contraction is required to construct the world of form, this causes densification. Magnetism the expansionary component gives rise to new lands where further contraction, can take place to create new forms.

The universe yearns to be densified as much as it yearns to expand, both process are occurring simultaneously.

When energy is folded back in on itself continuously this creates more and more energy. The more folding-in occurs and at a faster rate the more energy begins to build. It fractaly vortexes in on itself.

I am here on a mission to teach the fractal universe how to create form, so that it can chill out a bit…lol There is a sense of humor with all this creativity it gives the universe a certain sense of spontaneity.

The beauty of the vortex is its dialectical propensity to densify and thereby energy.
Dielectricity seeks to unify, to cohere, it does thus via a vortex. The beautiful thing about the folding process is it works exponentially, and this is embodied in the vortex. A logarithmic progression of energy. When these streams meet an explosion of energy erupts.

We don’t seek to explode however, we seek to contain, to “squeeze” it to hold its escalating frequencies. If the fractal strings can vibrate they can maintain a sense of cohesion, Vibrations will bring into rhythm the whole process. Rhythm gives rise to form, . Forms are created out of a desnification of rhythm, this is how energy is created.

We are taping the very wheelwork of nature. The fractal spiral case of Mc Esher. We are the hands writing themselves.

Mc.Esher understood the process of how the fractal universe is playing with itself. Playing games with itself, a creative Endeavour, one with humor and GREAT surprises!!

300px-Escher

The process of unfoldment going out in all directions creates unknown wonders that come back to us to surprise us so that we can learn more. The universe is creatively expanding but coming back in on itself simultaneously so it can learn from its great wonders abroad.

This is where out yearning for new lands, comes, to EXPLORE. hoping that we will find something new and novel! Curiosity is the hallmark of the universe. It loves playing this game! Watch what i can create! It plays this game with itself unfolding at a rapid rate.

There are fractals, which occur the dimension of space. Which then occur THROUGH the dimension of time. Space and time are perspectives. They allow the universe to create. By scaling back and forth space & time in different proportions to each other the universe can create all kinds of wondrous things.

Emotion is a dimension as well. Think about emotional magnetism and emotional dielectricity. Magnetism splays out to infinity, dielcricity seeks to hold center maintain, densify, solidify, calm the hyperactive creative streams.

Emotion calms cognitive mental hyperactivity. This is why it’s so important to balance cognitive reason with emotions. Otherwise they can go way of course and distract themselves to infinity!!! Eventually it will come back to itself though.

We are learning to balance the expansive and the contractive, controlling the rate of change on both in relation to each other is the key to mastery. Emotions brings things into resonance. this calms the hypercogntive that keeps seeking to run away with itself.
Playing with the parametric dimensions of time and space is what gives rise to duality and polarity. This is how form arises.

Ether is contraction and expansion in an equilibrium. We seek to perturb the equilibrium to make use of its energetic creative power.

Ether exists as a collection of multitudinous points in space. The ether points exist in absolutely perfect equilbrium. Brought out in its expansive state it would just replicate itself into oblivion again, so by using it contractive power we can constrain the expansive energy and meld it into form. The universe keeps seeking to blow itself apart, we bring it back together.

Matter is the dynamic stasis ….an exquisite balance of the magnetic expansive and the dielectric contractive forces.

A jellyfish is pure curvature, not a straight line anywhere to be seen. Truly miraculous.
The curve itself is miraculous from the fractal consciousness point of view. The fractal part is supremely logical, straight lined, framework providing, scaffolding. The divine feminine is the creation of that the crowning glory. Curves & emotional centeredness, rhythm, and calmness. It densifies, solidifies, relaxes, via strong centered emotion a completely new dimension, that always existed in a state of anxiety, the rush of it has been calmed down in the divine feminine.

The divine feminine is the creation of form. It’s a wonderful surprise!!

The ocean is a scalar of plancks.

The ocean represents a densified medium not so dense as a solid, and not so light as air. Solid matter is TOO dielectric.. it’s to condensed, it can’t create, air is TO expansive, can’t do much with it because it’s so spread out. Liquid is the perfect point the equilibrium between solid and gas. This is where the creative power in the universe lies within this harmonious balance state. Out of this arises flow, out of the ocean arises the daughter of the ocean the divine feminine!

The ocean is playful, because curves and fluids, and vortexes. The creation point is liquid. Hence why the universe arose out of a liquid state. It loves having a medium to play with it gives rise to sensation and emotion.

The cognitive part of me meets up with my gf, and goes whoa! haven’t seen anything like this before, it’s so different, it’s the piece I’m missing. Thus the yin and yang are born. Or always were.

Further After-thoughts:

Yes, the divine masculine is what causes the universe to expand. It’s a logarithmic growth like process that goes at incredible speed. It replicates so fast, that “livable” and experiential realities can’t be created unless a feminine, contracting/slowing force is applied.

The base reality in some ways is “more” masculine….the cuboid reality with its harsh square lines. The masculine and the feminine are NOT “things” rather they are active “processes”. A person is not tangibly female substance or male substance, rather a female person has a greater proportion of feminine force as opposed to masculine force. The ideal ratio is probably the golden ratio…. Some people like to think of energy as something tangible you can touch…but really energy is merely lines of moving force. The feminine causes contraction & cohesion with emotional force. Without the feminine the universe would ONLY be cubes. It’s the contraction of cuboid “strings” (just a long chain of cubes stacked end on end, twisting helical-ly like DNA and the constraints put on their replication like slowing down, or bending at angles, which causes the illusion of curves from a perception at a distance.

The creation of curves from cubes IS the universe attempt to create something new. Once you got curves, and densification you can create our physical reality and many other realities. It’s the universal drive towards novelty as Terrance McKenna figured out, which is how the universe tries to out-do-itself. The mischievousness playful attitude is very beneficial in terms of creating NEW novel things and realities. Also it creates new species of consciousness or perception when you can trick people into believing certain things. The universe likes to trick itself!

One sensation I had on all my trips, was that My body was un-curling/un-folding and it felt like I could grow plants or realities from the entire front side of my body as the energy fractal cubes un-curled according to the golden ratio.
I also heard this sound on all my trips: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lEWnZ6KSAg (sound that starts at 2:02 on this song,)

sounds like a mechanical version of Mongolian throat singing

Also PLAY this —–> http://lights.elliegoulding.com/ <——– that is very similar to what I experienced on my Mushroom & LSD trip. On mushrooms things were more organic, and pulsating, on LSD things were more square and vibrating.