I’m somewhat similar to you. I have no problem getting angry, but for me it’s with people I know really well (aka my family). If it’s strangers or people I see rarely I don’t do it as much if ever.
Lol @ making lists. What an ENTJ response. And no this really isn’t about needs, it’s about boundaries. (btw fuck the needs list, use values instead)
The key here is becoming more in tune with your emotions. When around other people, sensing into your body, and being aware of subtle nuances in how other people are making you feel. It really is more so of an introverted feeling (IF) quality where it’s self examination rather than examining rationally external behaviors. (ET)
Both my gf, depressed-friend, and sage-friend react viscerally, and emotionally instantly when they feel a boundary is being crossed. It’s a knee-jerk reaction, complete emotional honesty. Their body language and facial expression covey this, with out the logic mind getting in the way stopping it, rationalizing and then determining a “rational” course of action.
So the key for you( Miss.ENTJ-friend) and me is becoming more introverted feeling “IF” in social relational situations. Also expressing anger emotion WITH the logic. A dirty look, a look of disgust, a flash of anger, with DIRECT eye contact works as well. You could pretend you are your cat, as if someone just stepped on his tail, and the cat then gives that angry glowering controlled emotional look. Cats are actually masters of emotional control, in a logic like manner. Cats aren’t irrationally emotionally reactionary like dogs, they have good emotional boundary response and control.
So to sum up:
- Be more Introverted Feeling oriented, SRT style, respond more with controlled emotion
- Be more like Cat
Heroic Mastery 