Synthesis of ENTJ and INFP relationships

Last night I had a very profound dream. I was at a fancy dinner birthday party for Leonardo Dicaprio. Something happened with him and he went on a FarCry3 style shooting rampage killing many of the guests at the party. His girlfriend was injured and dying but somehow had no bullet wounds, and came over to me lying down and putting her head on my chest. She was amazed and in awe at how peaceful the energy was at my heart/chest chakra. She was so happy that she could be near my inner essence and connect with it before and as she was passing from this life.

I had this tremendous feeling of expansion and love as a stabilizing force emanating from  my chest that I became aware of as she did this. Several times in the last few months I have been babysitting my best friends puppy. I would take a nap in the afternoon and she would jump up on the couch and curl up between my heart and solar plexus chakra and go to sleep. She would go to the same place every time feeling safe and secure, much like the girl in my dream.

Often I don’t realize my own power, and it takes others to recognize it in me me before I became aware of it. I felt like my dream was trying to teach me a lesson to tune into this more as my central source of power and connection with myself and others.

Later in the evening myself and Leo started becoming good friends. I was a bit baffled as to why he would want to be friends with me but he had this vibe similar to an INFP friend of mine where there is the unspoken mutual admiration of who each other are at a deep level. This always surprises me and many times I’m not exactly aware of it. Growing up I never really had anyone that admired or appreciated me for who I am in this way.

Enter INFPs. My best friend and girlfriend are INFPs and many of my other friends are INFPs as well. Just being around INFPs it feels like there is this mutual understanding that occurs at an emotional level. INFPs appreciate me for my practical intellectual iNtuitive self. And I appreciate them for their robust emotional idealism.

In the Seth Material, Seth often makes the recommendation that humans should strive to be like the “Practical-Idealist”. I feel that the ENTJ-INFP relationship dynamic is something that fosters that in the ultimate kind of way.

For me the most important lesson and learning from INFPs is being emotionally centered in myself. There is a safety/security a type of stability and practical emotional framework in myself that INFPs desire. I have to recognize and nurture my own strength and use that as my healthy attractor for meaningful relationships.

As a kid my mother appreciated me for my cognitive intellect and this is something I learned to take pride in and build up my self-esteem and self-worth around. Then for most of my life I have used that as a template to form connections and relationships with people on this superficial ego-type level.

The most important aspect in connection and relationships is not so much what you say/think, but rather how you feel and where those emotions are coming from. With some people in some friendships, silence is awkward. But when both people tune in to their emotions, there is a level of appreciation and communication that transcends the mind/ego. A deeper more meaningful connection is forged.

Therapy Session #1 – Nov 24, 2011

My mother had been going for therapy ever since I was a child. I had occasionally seen some of her therapists (4 different ones my life, each 1x) because she insisted and since it helped her soooo much she thought it should help me as well. Needles to say most of the therapists thought I was perfectly normal, and really couldn’t offer me any help. I didn’t really have any problems either though. I had lived to me a very normal uneventful, non-traumatic life.

Recently my mother had gotten interested in a specific modality of Somatic based therapy and she thought it was the shit and began training in it. Based on my 4x previous experiences with “therapy” I was very, VERY skeptical. I had declined a couple of times already. But this guy was her therapist was also a trainer who trains therapists and went to Harvard so I decided to give it a shot. My mom thought it could help me with the Chronic Fatigue syndrome I had been suffering from for over 10 years. I had also been having nightmares, and anxious dreams that I would have loved to remedy.

So fast forward, to the session. I tell the therapist the thing about CFS, and my anxious dreams. His question is how is my relationship with my parents? I say “fine” we go out for dinner weekly and get along relatively well. All true. Guess this was not the answer he was looking for.

Then my therapist tells me something shocking: “I think your main problem is that your parent’s don’t love for who you are.” Excuse me!?? What the fuck does have to do with any of my issues?

Now he had me hooked, not only was he knocking my parents which delighted me a bit, because they had recommend him and told me they would pay his $175 charge out rate to eternity for me, he thought they were somehow magically at the root of my issues.

He then had me doing exercises imagining I was a tiger and mauling my mother. He told me I had problems feeling anger, and this was a serious issue and a repressed emotion I had to bring out.

God, if only my Mom knew what this guy was telling me and having me do. she would not approve. LOL!

I still didn’t understand how this related to my issues I wanted resolved, however he had brought up other perhaps more important issues I just wasn’t aware of. The rest is history.